Life, love, pain, and all things Reggae music...
When the storms of life rage on in my heart, mind, body and Spirit, the FACT is, I am always drawn to drop anchor at Home Port. In my case, that would be taking shelter at Port Reggae Music. In my deepest, darkest and most secret moments of life it is the rhythm of my own heart reflected back to me in the drums and strings of Reggae riddimz that engage and transform my mind, emotions and Spirit and force me to give thanks to God, irrespective of adversity, irrespective of sorrow, irrespective of pain, and irrespective of my feelings about it all. JAH know!
When I embarked on the journey towards intimate relationship with God, over a dozen years ago, and began studying God's Word and Law in the Bible, I frequently came across Scripture that referenced the phrase "sacrifice of praise" or "sacrifice of thanksgiving" (eg. Hebrews 13:15; Jeremiah 33:11; Psalm 116:17). As a word-aholic the phrase puzzled me. Sacrifice. Praise. Eh??? Why would it ever require a sense that you were forfeiting something in order to give God thanks for His abundant provision and grace in saving you, caring for you and not sending your trifling half-in-half-out-sanctified-on-Sunday-shacking up-with-the-devil-Monday-to-Saturday-self, straight to Hell, just based on your lustful thoughts alone about that fiiiiiine, coffee-chocolate-dreadlocked, stallion of a man, who just greeted you into his gynaecological office (ooooh wait! that's my fantasy...cough, ahem! THANK-YOU God for your mercies that are new every day!)...um, as I proceed... O_O
Weeeeeeeeelp! it took me a minute or, rather 6.5 million minutes, give or take a few ;-) but the last year or so, I'm definitely digging this obtuse oxymoron; coz lemme tell allyou people! It sure feel like it neva rain but it pour around here, eh bwoy! Multiple family/friend deaths, serious sickness, major personal and family/friend financial woes, not so-peaceful home-front, and well, you get my drift...it ain't been a "nice" year...well, frankly, yearSSS, lately. Sooooo, my smile got me through for a while. My more recent sense of life purpose and the launching of myself into what I discovered was a passion and gift, now officially known as LIVINSOUL® Entertainment, kept me highly distracted for a wee while longer...but like all dung piles, at some point it ah go get big enough to stink up dee whole place, u zee mi?
Why I persist in needing my backside to hit rock bottom before I look up and see where I am, I dunno. I'm not about to dissect my psychosis again for y'all on this one. But, anywhooo, whatever it be...suffice to say, I have reached the end of my patience and tolerance with the emotional stresses in my life, and yep, me - lil ole me, who love Jesus to pieces, ain't been feeling too schmoozy with Him lately. Quite frankly, I've been like, "what da hay???" with God (well, ok, I confess the h-word was more kinda upside-downish, sidewaysish, kinda f-wordish, for which God is already all over me, so save it, any of you overly-righteous readers!)...Now all the while I'm dropping bombs on God, loosing my already short-fused temper upon those dearest to me - and anyone in firing range, I've been praying, like a good Christian, to be blessed, so I can be a blessing to others. Yeah, I know, y'all can slap me with the o_O on that one, but in the immortal words of the Great Prophet, Corey Red, "you in da glass house - chill Yo! I got skeletons in my closet, but you got dildo!" (ok, ok, OK! sheesh, I confess! I used to have one of those too! Dang! Well, I'm sure mine was small...er, wait, never mind...cough, cough, COUGH!)
Now back to da rhyme...do you remember what we are talking about? Or did that vibrating implement shake your brains a lil? Snap out of it!...we talking "Sacrifice of Praise"...remember now? Ok...well, I said all that stuff (and some) to demonstrate that because of one too many unpleasant frictional moments in life, and because I put trust in my works for God to keep me strengthened through the storms of life, rather than work on my intimacy with God, through prayer, praise and study of His Word to buffer my ship in the storm, I was not feeling any praise coming on in my Spirit for my God who has time and time again demonstrated that He will NEVER forsake me. Somehow I allow my focus to go to the choppy waves, thunder and lightning of my life, rather than the power of God to walk on the water and command the storm be still. And to be honest, I've been quite selfish in wanting 'my way or the highway'. I figured, since I went through some 'stuff' in my past, God kinda owed me some extra protection and 'treats', or something, to make up for the hardships. And frankly, I just plain wanted my way in some of my circumstances, so submitting to God, my husband, or anyone, for that matter, was feeling 'a bit much' considering 'all I have to deal with'. Anywhoooo I've been pouting like a child, demanding God "do something", forgetting His grace in not allowing worse things to happen. And instead of sacrificing my incessant need to wallow in how I feel about my circumstances long enough to lift my hands and praise Him that I have those hands to raise, I'm whining, cussing, pleading, and getting downright angry about stuff that ain't about to change anytime soon! Seriously, at this point, I wanna slap myself, so I stand in awe at God's love in not whooping my behind for my sucky attitude, coz in earth life, my children get the palm treatment for this level of ingratitude and defiance that I have been flagrantly toting around.
The FACT is, the fall of man in the Garden of Eden invited chaos and sin into the world. The FACT is, God 'makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust,' (Matthew 5:45), so life on earth will inevitably have it's not-so-sunny moments, whether you love God or deny His power. Add to that our humanity, failings, and sometimes dumb or misplaced decisions and life choices, and the probability of the proverbial poo-poo hitting the fan grows stinkingly higher. That said, the world and life being what it is can make absolutely no statement in denial of the power of God. In FACT it is God's grace and mercy and great love for His creation that brought about the hope we have to overcome the world through Christ.
So blessings pon meh Reggae people dem, coz Hip-Hop is my breath, but Reggae is my heart...and that heart needed a kick up the booty...for as dee Street's Disciple, St. Matthew ah remind me:
"The righteous cry, and the LORD hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34:19
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Revelation 21:4
CAN I GET AN AMEN, HALLELUJAH, PRAISE YOU GOD up inna dee house??? lol lol lol! God is AWESOME, ya heard???
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