LIFE FACT: the truth hurts...but it sets you free

Sooooooo, if ya read a previous blog of mine you already know that I had an abortion some years ago. Yup, I exercised my right to "planned parenthood", and murdered my 12 week-old son by having him vacumn-sucked and swept out of my womb like some dust bunny in the corner of my house. I didn't have the money to raise him, I was already a young, single mother to my firstborn, whom I had given birth to at the not very mature age of barely 19. I was not married, I was not even in a relationship with the father of my now-dead son, that I felt was secure enough to expect him to stand by me, never mind his flesh and blood. There really wasn't much consideration for how God felt about my circumstances, nor how He could redeem those circumstances, as I had an estranged relationship with God, and was not willing to address my inward struggle to do what I knew to be right. Nor did I even consider how I could have kept my legs closed, in the first place, as the best protection against another unwanted pregnancy. Nope! All I thought about was my lack of finances, and my feelings that told me that repeating single motherhood, with a second unwilling father, would be a burden I could not bear. I eliminated even considering adoption as an option. How could "I" deal with "giving away" my own flesh and blood to complete strangers? I was so against the thought of how I would have to cope emotionally knowing I had a child in the world who I would likely never know or see, and they never know me, that the "alternative choice" of ending the life of my son did not even process in my brain as a murder. It was simply me making a decision to "plan" when I would be pregnant. And in that plan, a baby, conceived because of MY CHOICE to have sex outside the God-ordained context of marriage; to have sex without exercising consistent and effective contraceptive methods, and to do so in financial circumstances that could only frustrate any circumstance of me getting pregnant - that baby, was simply an unwanted 'glitch' in my plan for my own life. A glitch I had to 'remedy' so that my plans could work 'smoothly' in the manner I wanted.

Last night, after much protest from many influential African-Americans and supportive voices, an anti-abortion ad, which drew a poignant and FACTual picture of the current crisis in the African-American community regarding abortion rates, was taken down. Scraped off billboard walls like the D & C abortion that ripped my son out of my womb, in a bloody mess that signalled the end of his life. The truth of what I did to my child that day HURTS, but the FACT is, acknowledging the TRUTH that I did actually murder him, and not simply chose to plan out my parenthood, has set me free from the guilt and remorse over his death, because it allowed me the opportunity, through Christ, to repent, and change my way of thinking and doing towards a greater and better plan for my life. By acknowledging the TRUTH, I was able to see my error, and to take steps towards change and growth.

The first time I saw this ad, it pricked me deeply. It hurt, not just because my son had been one of the endangered children in the womb, but because the ad represented the truth of a crisis of genocide that is quietly going on throughout the world...and here in America, to my people, and to every kind of people. I know there are some out of bounds Pro-Life organizations who are dumb and irresponsible enough to kill and physically attack those who perform abortions, but the FACT is what they ultimately stand for cannot be thrown out like a proverbial baby with the bath water. I can't vouch for this particular Pro-Life organization on their moral decency in dealing with those who perform abortions. But what I do endorse in the ad campaign they put forth is FACT and TRUTH:

 "According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention , since 1973, the year of the Supreme Court Decision Roe vs. Wade, 13 million (13,000,000) African American lives have been lost to abortion. The CDC reports that of the approximately 4000 abortions that are performed daily in the United States, 1452 of them are performed on African American women and their pre-born children. This means that although African Americans represent only 12% of the population of the United States, they account for 35% of the abortions performed in this country." http://www.nbccongress.org/features/abortion_silent_no_more_01.asp

It is sad that we repress the truth so that we might be comfortable in the lie that we live...May these ads and images stand here as a memorial to all who have died, and all who continue to die through murder by abortion.

         My Son would have developed in the womb

                like this at the time of abortion - 12 weeks.

                                      R.I.P iShaka Zulu

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

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UPDATE September 2011 - I was introduced to the work of this awesome Spoken Word Artist from Kenya by Alffie of http://kifalme.com/newkifalme/en/ ...This is one of his pieces...Ladies and Gentlemen, the raw and uncut TRUTH....courtesy of Number 8.







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MIC CHECK 1-2: REALITY FACT - A child's sight shapes his/her desire

Ever since I was a child I have been awe-struck by the beauty of dreadlocks, so unsurprisingly this piece of 3-dimensional art, made with real dreadlocks, by Artist, Patreece Lewis, had me doing head-spins, eye-flips and gave me some heart palpitations. Yeah, I'll admit, I had to pray off some delicious thoughts upon first glance at this fine specimen. LOL! But I'm ok now. Ha!

It was quite funny to me that I had such a strong reaction upon opening up my neatly packaged dreadlocked work of art, which I had received in the mail. The thoughts of 'finally having some dreads' brought on more a sense of joy than actual sexual sensations ...but the sexual reaction was there, nonetheless (TMI, I know, but bear with me while I bring it home...and STOP thinking dem nasty thoughts!).

Now those who know me, know that the little girl in love with dreads grew up to marry a bald head (Oh, I can hear Bob Marley singing this one...). I am also now a grown woman given to extreme tastes when it comes to preferences for my man's hairline, so there's none of that sense that I 'settled' for my Husband's shiny dome (just ta let y'all know). In FACT, my Husband is quite a fine specimen, himself, and what he lacks in dreads, well...we won't go there, since kids might read this... ;-)

Anyhooo...my point...the experience of reacting the way I did reminded me so well of the long-lasting affects of visual stimulation upon a child's mind. It is established FACT that human beings are visual creatures. Our first encounters of the world are totally sensory. And our vision plays a major role, more so than any of our other senses, in receiving data about the world around us, and our own role in that world. Children are imitators. They repeat with action what they see and hear. And not only do they imitate, children also develop their own thought patterns on what they see and experience of the world around them. Their thought patterns help shape their beliefs. Their beliefs determine how they will think, feel, speak and interact with others and their world.

When I was 8 years-old I was taking a walk, alone, along the bank of the river that flowed at the rear of my neighborhood. To my surprise I came upon four, or so, dreadlocked men bathing in the river. Not an entirely unusual past-time for my Caribbean home, and not a strange sight to me. In FACT I was very much use to seeing men, women and children at all levels of nakedness bathe in the many waters of my island, and had done the same, quite innocently, as a child of the sun. But somehow the combination of the naked skin of these men, and the way their extremely long dreadlocks hung about them, and cascaded unto their backs as they rose from a dip in the water, aroused my sexuality at that youthful age. Since then, I have held a strong fascination with dreadlocks.

Now, as I said, I married a bald head, so it wasn't like this experience, or my mesmerization with dreads led to an inevitable union with a dread-locked man. In FACT, as I grew older, and matured, so did my 'taste' in men and what I found attractive about men. Yet still, here I was, a grown and married woman, salivating (just a little) on memories of those fine Rastamen whose hair led to the love and appreciation of the beauty of dreadlocks, and my purchase of this piece of art. Amazing the long-lasting power of just one visual experience...

So, why is it, I wonder, we are feeding our children these types of nonsensical visual palette on a continuous basis? What are we trying to get them to see, to think, to believe, to act out?