LIFE FACT: the truth hurts...but it sets you free

Sooooooo, if ya read a previous blog of mine you already know that I had an abortion some years ago. Yup, I exercised my right to "planned parenthood", and murdered my 12 week-old son by having him vacumn-sucked and swept out of my womb like some dust bunny in the corner of my house. I didn't have the money to raise him, I was already a young, single mother to my firstborn, whom I had given birth to at the not very mature age of barely 19. I was not married, I was not even in a relationship with the father of my now-dead son, that I felt was secure enough to expect him to stand by me, never mind his flesh and blood. There really wasn't much consideration for how God felt about my circumstances, nor how He could redeem those circumstances, as I had an estranged relationship with God, and was not willing to address my inward struggle to do what I knew to be right. Nor did I even consider how I could have kept my legs closed, in the first place, as the best protection against another unwanted pregnancy. Nope! All I thought about was my lack of finances, and my feelings that told me that repeating single motherhood, with a second unwilling father, would be a burden I could not bear. I eliminated even considering adoption as an option. How could "I" deal with "giving away" my own flesh and blood to complete strangers? I was so against the thought of how I would have to cope emotionally knowing I had a child in the world who I would likely never know or see, and they never know me, that the "alternative choice" of ending the life of my son did not even process in my brain as a murder. It was simply me making a decision to "plan" when I would be pregnant. And in that plan, a baby, conceived because of MY CHOICE to have sex outside the God-ordained context of marriage; to have sex without exercising consistent and effective contraceptive methods, and to do so in financial circumstances that could only frustrate any circumstance of me getting pregnant - that baby, was simply an unwanted 'glitch' in my plan for my own life. A glitch I had to 'remedy' so that my plans could work 'smoothly' in the manner I wanted.

Last night, after much protest from many influential African-Americans and supportive voices, an anti-abortion ad, which drew a poignant and FACTual picture of the current crisis in the African-American community regarding abortion rates, was taken down. Scraped off billboard walls like the D & C abortion that ripped my son out of my womb, in a bloody mess that signalled the end of his life. The truth of what I did to my child that day HURTS, but the FACT is, acknowledging the TRUTH that I did actually murder him, and not simply chose to plan out my parenthood, has set me free from the guilt and remorse over his death, because it allowed me the opportunity, through Christ, to repent, and change my way of thinking and doing towards a greater and better plan for my life. By acknowledging the TRUTH, I was able to see my error, and to take steps towards change and growth.

The first time I saw this ad, it pricked me deeply. It hurt, not just because my son had been one of the endangered children in the womb, but because the ad represented the truth of a crisis of genocide that is quietly going on throughout the world...and here in America, to my people, and to every kind of people. I know there are some out of bounds Pro-Life organizations who are dumb and irresponsible enough to kill and physically attack those who perform abortions, but the FACT is what they ultimately stand for cannot be thrown out like a proverbial baby with the bath water. I can't vouch for this particular Pro-Life organization on their moral decency in dealing with those who perform abortions. But what I do endorse in the ad campaign they put forth is FACT and TRUTH:

 "According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention , since 1973, the year of the Supreme Court Decision Roe vs. Wade, 13 million (13,000,000) African American lives have been lost to abortion. The CDC reports that of the approximately 4000 abortions that are performed daily in the United States, 1452 of them are performed on African American women and their pre-born children. This means that although African Americans represent only 12% of the population of the United States, they account for 35% of the abortions performed in this country." http://www.nbccongress.org/features/abortion_silent_no_more_01.asp

It is sad that we repress the truth so that we might be comfortable in the lie that we live...May these ads and images stand here as a memorial to all who have died, and all who continue to die through murder by abortion.

         My Son would have developed in the womb

                like this at the time of abortion - 12 weeks.

                                      R.I.P iShaka Zulu

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

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UPDATE September 2011 - I was introduced to the work of this awesome Spoken Word Artist from Kenya by Alffie of http://kifalme.com/newkifalme/en/ ...This is one of his pieces...Ladies and Gentlemen, the raw and uncut TRUTH....courtesy of Number 8.







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RANDOM FACTS - Death NEVER dies

Bear with me on this one…it’s a doozy for a second…

The human brain and psyche are complex self-regulating systems (CG.Jung). They are a macroscopic collection of microscopic subsystems, an intricate machine, of sorts. Consider complex systems as being composed of millions of tiny subsystems, for example, the cells in our body, the molecules in an object, and the citizens of a country. While it is highly likely that both the brain and psyche possess global properties, such as memory and consciousness each subsystem is able to act randomly while the overall system is in equilibrium, and remains relatively predictable (Mainzer, 1994).
  
‘Chaos theory’ studies the behavior of dynamical systems. One of the findings of Chaos Theory is that complex systems that seem to be in equilibrium are not really at equilibrium. Tiny variations present within the macrocosm can send the system into chaos at any time. Complex systems, and especially living systems, like the brain and psyche, require more than conditions of equilibrium to maintain self-organization or growth (Cohen & Stewart, 1994; Gleick, 1987; Kellert, 1993; Prigogine & Stengers, 1984).

One finding of Chaos Theory is ‘Bifurcation Theory’. Bifurcation being a crisis point in the life of a system, in which the future of that system becomes uncertain. It is like a fork in the time sequence of a system, in which a system can take two possible paths, one or both leading to chaos. All dynamic systems go through bifurcations, most of which are irreversible (Cohen & Stewart, 1994; Gleick, 1987; Kellert, 1993; Peitgen, Jürgens & Saupe, 1992; Prigogine & Stengers, 1984).

Entropy is a measure of chaos (Nicolis & Prigogine, 1989). The second law of thermodynamics suggests that there that can be no perpetual motion machine as all systems wear down, energy is lost and cannot be totally recovered by a system. We can also consider entropy to be a measure of internal randomness, or molecular chaos. As entropy increases, chaos increases (Angrist & Hepler, 1967; Atkins, 1984).

All too much science for your brain? Well, the FACT is these theories began to make a little sense to me after listening to this song:

The heart-beat of a drum and the singers’ call to a Soldier somehow, through the complex machinations of my brain and psyche, became an energy input. The result: emotional crisis by the friction it brought to my psyche, as memory and consciousness came together to remind me that one day, in the late summer, of 1997, by a random act, previously inconceivable by me, the level of entrophy increased within another subsystem of my body – my womb, and a son, my son, died. The memory of his death is made stronger still by the FACT that he died by my own hands. I have lived these many years with the appearance of equilibrium, while, within the microcosm of my systems, the loss of energy from terminating the pregnancy of my son, was increasing the entrophy within to produce what seemed an 'irreversible' state of grief.

FACT: Ending the life of a human fetus is a death that never dies, because those who commit this act go on living that death perpetually in the memory and consciousness (and subconscious) of the brain and psyche. Following the abortion, my life was truly a season of bifurcation for me. I was suicidal, depressed and plain tired of struggle after struggle, only compacted by the death of my beloved grandmother...Realizing, I needed more than the equilibrium of coming to a place of 'emotional rest' about what I had done to my son, I chose one of the forks in the road of life, and I came to Christ and continued to grow towards a greater equity of Spirit --- Irreversibility Theory be damned! Christ takes the sting out of death:

Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed - in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

But though I have received the forgiveness of God, REALITY FACT: my brain and psyche, as evidenced from the trigger from the song above, still work together to remind me, of the murder I committed upon another Soul. The difference, now, in the law and science of my brain and psyche - knowing who Christ is has allowed me not to be moved so extremely that all subsystems within me shut down. I remember my son, yes, with regret and grief, but I remember the death of Christ that brings a resurrection LIFE. Through Christ I defy the second law of thermodynamics - my psyche is a "perpetual motion machine". My energy for life shall not be depleted while Christ remains integrated into all subsystems of my being. May my son's death never die, but live forevermore in me, as a memorial of his LIFE, and the LIFE I found through Christ because of his death...for I shall not be moved by past sins. R.I.P ‘iShaaka Zulu’.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:13-16).

• In the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision, the United States Supreme Court ruled that women, in consultation with their physician, have a constitutionally protected right to have an abortion in the early stages of pregnancy—that is, before viability—free from government interference.In 1992, the Court reaffirmed the right to abortion in Planned Parenthood v. Casey.
• Nearly half of pregnancies among American women are unintended, and four in 10 of these are terminated by abortion. Twenty-two percent of all pregnancies (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion.
• In September 2000, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved mifepristone to be marketed in the United States as an alternative to surgical abortion. In 2008, 59% of abortion providers, or 1,066 facilities, provided one or more early medication abortions.
• Forty percent of pregnancies among white women, 69% among blacks and 54% among Hispanics are unintended. In 2008, 1.21 million abortions were performed.From 1973 through 2008, nearly 50 million legal abortions occurred.
• Each year, two percent of women aged 15-44 have an abortion; half have had at least one previous abortion. At least half of American women will experience an unintended pregnancy by age 45, and, at current rates, about one-third will have had an abortion.

 References:

*Abortion statistics: http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html

·         Jung, C. G. (1973). On the nature of the psyche. Hull, R. F. C. (Trans). from Bollingen Series XX. The Collected Works of C.G. Jung. 8. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press. First published in 1960.

·         Mainzer, K. (1994). Thinking in complexity: The complex dynamics of matter, mind, and mankind. Berlin: Springer-Verlag.

·         Cohen, J. and Stewart, I. (1994). The collapse of chaos: Discovering simplicity in a complex world. New York: Viking.

·         Gleick, J. (1987). Chaos: Making a new science. New York: Penguin.

·         Kellert, S. H. (1993). In the wake of chaos: Unpredictable order in dynamical systems. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press.

·         Prigogine, I. and Stengers, I. (1984). Order out of chaos: Man's new dialogue with nature. Toronto: Bantam.

·         Nicolis G. and Prigogine, I. (1989). Exploring complexity: An introduction. New York: W. H. Freeman.

·         Angrist, S. W. and Hepler, L. G. (1967). Order and chaos: Laws of energy and entropy. New York: Basic Books.

·         Atkins, P. W. (1984). The second law. New York: Scientific American.