THIS CHRISTIAN NEEDS A DRINK ((PART 2)): To drinketh rum punch or not to drinketh rum punch? - that is still the question...

So, now that I put on a couple pounds eating Häagen-Dazs Rum Raisin ice-cream, all the while kicked back in a real skanking kinda stance to the likes of my main Reggae man dem, Monty G, St. Matthew, Benjah, Dominic Balli, Christafari, Papa San, Prodigal Son (oh oh! lemme not start a whole new blog there...) - with Bible in the hand, and my academic face on, I find, a couple weeks later, I am still working on giving y'all a definitive answer to the question: "To drinketh rum punch or not to drinketh rum punch?" Yes, that is still the question!

Trust me Starr! Iz not avoidance on my part, scene? (transliteration: I'm not avoiding providing an answer, ya heard me?). Nor has the ice-cream got me too tilted to focus. You see, after some pretty decent research on this life changing question - both before and since posting my need for ah likkle rum punch, it boils down to one of those answers that make you have to think for your own-self...

Soooooooo, let me take you on the short-story version of my journey in thought, to answer: "To drinketh rum punch or not to drinketh rum punch?", and perhaps y'all can work it all out for yourself...and help a Sista out...


As it would be exhaustive for me to quote every Biblical reference to drinking alcohol I will leave you with a few choice favorites that put the issue to bat - with the ball, firmly in your court...

Thou shall not drinketh thine rum-punch???:

One can find accounts in the Bible of folks who lost their religion over a few too many drinks. Here's a couple to start:

• In the Book of Esther 1, King Ahaseurus was throwing them back one night and started boasting about his fine wife, Queen Vashti. Being the 'man' and King, and all, he thought, in his drunken mind, it was a great idea to call for her and have her parade in front of his boys. She weren't having it. Now, the King was in a position where his macho rep and authority was being publicly challenged. Needless to say, the drink had him taking advice from his likely-equally-drunk boys who thought it best to banish Vashti - a woman he actually loved and adored....hmmmm, #epicfail

• In Genesis 9 Noah and his family are divinely blessed to survive the greatest catastrophic disaster on the planet to date - global flood. He walks off his ship, unscathed, with his family, gets to rebuilding the world, and decides to kick back with the fermented fruits of his labor one day. After too much wine he is up in his tent butt-naked and snoring. His son, Ham, walks in and what-do-ya-know - surprise! Daddy mooning! Ham goes to tell his brothers about it and what does he get? A drunk father cussing out the son of his son, condemning the innocent child to be a "servant of servants" to his brethren, because his own Daddy, Ham, walked in on Grandpa tilted with wine, with his butt shining brighter than the stars...not a good look for drinking.

 And here's some equally sobering thoughts:

• Proverbs 20:1 - "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise." (NKJV) - So I'm a dummy if I drink that rum punch?
  

• Proverbs 23:19-21 - "Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path. Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." (NIV) - So I'm on the path to poverty if I drink that rum punch?

• Galatians 5:19-21 - "Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." (NKJV)  - So, dang! I just ain't even getting into heaven if I drink that rum punch?

 Thou mayest drinketh thine rum punch?

 So after reading a multitude more of these type of aforesaid Scripture, and various commentaries on the topic of 'what the Bible has to say about drinking', and thoroughly drowning my sorrows and liver in gluttonous tubs of Rum Raisin ice-cream, I'm praying, asking God, "Like, really? I can't ever get me a rum punch?" And in the true rebellion of a child, I'm trying to gain ground for my position to have a drink by countering God with that 'but so and so is doing it' argument. So I look up these references of people of God drinking - without there being any hell fire and brimstone, and such, attached to it. Of course, the best example to convince God of the goodness of some lime rum punch would be the example of His own Son, right?

• In John 2: 1-11 not only is Jesus' first miracle recorded for posterity - the turning of water into wine - an account is made of the drinking of wine at a wedding. - So I can drink my rum punch on 'special' social occasions, right?

•  In Matthew 26:26-29; Mark 14: 22-25; & Luke 22: 15-20 Jesus divides a cup of drink among His disciples, saying "Verily I say unto you, I will drink no more of the fruit of the vine, until that day that I drink it new in the kingdom of God." - So, Jesus, 'normally' drank the fruit of the vine aka wine, so I can hit up a rum punch too, right?

And just in case God wanted to argue with me about His Son not having been recorded as actually drinking the good stuff (Jesus turned water into wine, but no reference was made as to Him drinking it; Jesus had His disciples share the wine - He himself, did not drink it) I figured, as God is not a respecter of persons He would respect some 'layman' references to the normalcy and necessity of throwing back a shot for those of us lesser mortals...

• Proverbs 31: 6-7 -  "Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to those who are bitter of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more." (NKJV) - So I can have a rum punch if I'm on my death bed, or feeling bitter about life, right?

• 1 Timothy 5:23 - "No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach’s sake and your frequent infirmities." (NKJV) - So, as the Apostle Paul advised Timothy to drink wine for his health maladies, I can knock back a rum punch when I'm sick, right?

• Amos 9:14 - God speaks of blessing Israel: "I will bring back my exiled people Israel; they will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them. They will plant vineyards and drink their wine; they will make gardens and eat their fruit." (NIV) - So, I can down a likkle rum punch as God gave me the fields of sugar cane and lime to make it, right?

I could have gone on for eternity with all these positive arguments for me holding down ah cool glass ah rum punch 'fore I die... but the FACT is the Bible both cautions against drinking alcohol, as well as offers numerous accounts of the people of God drinking - both in the sense of warnings against drunkenness and as an acceptable form of social practice and for medicinal purpose. So, I'm still here thinking to myself 'what really is the deal? To drink or not to drink?' ... my brain is hurting! THIS CHRISTIAN NEEDS A DRINK!

to be continued...after a couple Pineapple Coconut Häagen-Dazs ice-cream tubs, which they so happened to have tainted with a likkle rum :-)